thank you everyone for your responses. I appreciate everyones ideas and it kinda gives me something to go on.
As far as Terry and Sandy go, I was in contact with them the day Tom passed. They were two very important friends in his life and I have been in contact with them throughout his cancer journey.
I will be finalizing things with Tom this week and will be in contact with everyone before I go on vacation.
Thanks again for all your input.
Wendy
Hi everyone,
I hope this finds everyone doing well. The paperwork has been done and Tom has been cremated. I will be picking up his remains next week. It was Tom’s wishes that I do a video memorial so that we all had a chance to say good-bye – I was waiting on the whole cremation thing before I made any plans. ( I wanted him to be present)
That being said – I am not quite sure how to go about this whole thing. I am assuming I would have to do something on zoom so that people could join in. Also with everyone in different time zones I am not sure what the best way to go about this would be. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. Obviously I don’t know if I can get his remains and accomplish the memorial before I leave on vacation. So I was thinking maybe plan something for when I return which would be after July 8th. Any thoughts?
If I plan something, I have written a short eulogy in his honor that I would share and then people would have a chance to share if they wanted too. Short, sweet and to the point – but I would like to honor his life and passing somehow.
I will check back later for suggestions on all this. Thank you all.
take care, Wendy
Hello everyone,
Sorry for my absence – I have been trying to keep my head above water in dealing with all this. Trying to work, navigate legal issues, deal with my household, my elderly mother, an upcoming trip, etc…….. Needless to say, it has been a balancing act.
It was Tom’s wishes that I have a video memorial in his honor so that we all had a chance to say good-bye – I would like to do that when “he can join us”. Apparently, getting him cremated and getting his remains has not been an easy task. The legal paperwork I sent in giving me permission to make decision upon his death is currently being reviewed by their “legal department”. Once that is complete, they will contact me to make further arrangements. Who knew it would be so hard to get someone’s remains? I will keep you all posted.
I have a vacation scheduled to Florida at the end of this month. I really would like to have all this handled by the time I leave so that I may use my time away to “rejuvenate” my weary soul.
I am currently trying to deal with my mother as well. She is 85 and has some severe mobility issues. She should not live on her own anymore. I either need to put her house up for sale and find a suitable retirement home for her or find someone that can live with her and help care for her. She is not liking either option basically because she doesn’t want to part with any money. I am unable to live with her and provide her full-time care (for many, many, many reasons) -I know that seems strange since you all know me as a caregiver, but it just isn’t something that can be done right now. Needless to say, somedays it feels as if everything is happening at once.
Please know that my thoughts are with you all – I will keep you all posted.
Thank you for your patience,
Wendy
Hi everyone,
Sorry I have been absent the last few days. A lot to process and deal with. I came back to his room today to try and tie up some loose ends and I am definitely have more difficulty being here than I though I would – lots of emotions!
I wanted to thank you all for the beautiful tribute in memory of Tom – I did log on the following day and saw all the wonderful comments directed at both of us. He would be very pleased!
I am in the process of managing things – I know that he had it set up to have a video tribute in memory of him through Neptune, but not quite sure how that all works yet. I will keep everyone posted.
Again thank you all for your support and kind words. Tom was a special man and has left a big void for me.
Take care all and I will be back soon.
Wendy
As of 9:54 this evening – Tomcat has left the litter box. I am heartbroken, but relieved that he is no longer suffering.
Thank you all for being a part of his journey. Many thanks to all.
Hi there,
I am sitting here quietly with Tom. He has not been awake or aware since earlier today.
Thursday night I came to sit with him after my shift ended – he was in a lot of pain, but aware and awake. I sat with him and held his hand as they gave him his pain meds and waited for them to kick in promising him that if he just closed his eyes to rest he would get relief soon – his response to me was “I want to see beauty, I want you to be the last thing I see before I go.” That will stick with me for the rest of my life because that truly was the last time his eyes have been open. He has heard my voice, but not opened his eyes since then.
Once Tom and I got to know one another he became my biggest fan – bragging about me to anyone who would listen. Much to the dismay of many, I am sure – LOL . He never missed a chance to tell me what he thought of me or how he felt about me and I will forever be grateful to him for that. I simply cared for him the way he deserved and he made it rather easy – at least most of the time- LOL. We have only been in one another’s lives for 5 years, but it has been a privilege and a blessing. I am a true believer that people come into our lives when we need them the most – my life has been made better having had the chance to know him .