[EDITOR”S NOTE: While I don’t think this posting is “Fun” in the usual sense – I do think it has some satisfying qualities.]
WOW! This week has been one revelation after another documenting what we all knew all along: Trump is Batsh!t Crazy Demagogue! However, it’s hard to believe that Donnie’s final days as Oval Office occupier were far worse than we ever imagined!
One book after another has come out to show just how unhinged Donnie was during his final days. Starting with “I Alone Can Fix It” by Pulitzer Prize-winning reporters Carol Leonnig and Philip Rucker. From it we learn that Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Mark Milley and his allies were so distraught about Donnie spreading the Big Lie about the election that they thought there was a distinct possibility that he might try a coup when he lost. As a precaution to save the country they devised contingency plans to prevent any Trump illegal power grab.
One was that they would all sequentially resign, one after the other, rather than carry out a clearly unconstitutional order from The Former Guy. Sort of like Richard Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre – but in reverse.
Gen. Milley shared his concerns about a possible coup with his military colleagues, legislators and friends:
General Mark Milley, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, likened Donald Trump’s effort to hold on to power after the 2020 election to Adolf Hitler, saying the president was preaching “the gospel of the Führer” with his lies about the election being stolen.
“They may try, but they’re not going to f\/cking succeed,” Milley told his officers. “You can’t do this without the military. You can’t do this without the CIA and the FBI. We’re the guys with the guns.”
Milley was disturbed by the sight of Trump supporters rallying to his cause in November, calling them “Brownshirts in the streets….” Milley “believed Trump was stoking unrest, possibly in hopes of an excuse to invoke the Insurrection Act and call out the military.” The general likened the U.S. to Germany’s fragile Weimar Republic in the early 1930s. “This is a Reichstag moment,” he said, referring to the arson attack on Germany’s Parliament that Hitler used as a pretext to assume absolute power and destroy democracy.
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2021/07/i-alone-can-fix-it-mark-milley-likened-trump-to-hitler.html
But what I find fascinating is The Former Guy’s inability to just keep his yap shut, let things settle down and NOT make matters worse.
But no – he always has to have the last word. And so we now have what will be two of his Top Ten Punchlines: “If I Was Going To Do a Coup …” and “I’m Not Into Coups”
It comes from a statement he released on 7/15/21:
Despite massive Voter Fraud and Irregularities during the 2020 Presidential Election Scam, that we are now seeing play out in very big and important States, I never threatened, or spoke about, to anyone, a coup of our Government. So ridiculous! Sorry to inform you, but an Election is my form of “coup,” and if I was [sic] going to do a coup, one of the last people I would want to do it with is General Mark Milley.
[snip]
I’m not into coups.
[NOTE: It would be too time-consuming to markup all his juvenile random capitalizations and insertion of commas haphazardly. But one of my pet peeves is using “were” when writing in the subjunctive mood – and his was an appalling abrogation of the subjunctive. It should be: “If I WERE going to do a coup.”
[Here endeth today’s pedantic grammar lesson.]
The Former Guy trying to deny he would ever do a coup (but failing) is the exact same defense he used in trying to deny his sexual assault of E. Jean Carroll by claiming “She’s not my type.”
But let’s note that Trump did NOT say “I would never have raped Ms. Carroll because I think it’s a despicable act, and I’m opposed to all violence against women.” It was simply “She’s not my type.”
So he virtually confesses that he would have raped her … IF she were his type. So he would have led a coup … IF he were able to find someone other than Gen. Milley. Damned by his own words.
And of course the Twitterverse was not going to pass on the chance to weigh-in on Former Guy’s “confession”.
Former Guy’s actions since his loss on 11/3/2020 were actually all part of a multi-faceted Coup attempt:
1. Lost the election by a pretty sizable margin despite efforts to sabotage the USPS
2. Spent the time between election and certification trying to strongarm officials into changing the vote totals
3. Tried to recruit "alternate" electors to override the states' votes https://t.co/Xrx7G4o6T1— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) July 15, 2021
4. Installed loyalists at DOD and State
5. Filed all manner of absurd lawsuits hoping that judges he appointed would award him the election in return
6. Called on his supporters to go to DC on 1/6 to urge Congress to throw out the votesCoup. It was all part of a coup attempt.
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) July 15, 2021
It wasn't just 1/6. It never was. And it wasn't just Trump. It was the entire GOP. Why do you think so many were hesitant to say Biden won? Because they wanted to see if Trump's coup attempt was successful.
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) July 15, 2021
Imagine if he devoted a fraction of the energy it took to write this to persuading vaccine-hesitant people.
— IDK Your BFF Rose (@rose_of_tx) July 15, 2021
“I’m not into coups, but if I was, my coups would be tremendous. The best coups, maybe ever.”
— Djfry (@djfrein) July 15, 2021
And I particularly enjoyed the Dr. Seuss style parody of Donnie’s “confession” at Slate.
I do not like you General Mark
I did not like you in the park
I did not ever do a coup
I did not ever coup with you
I would not could not coup with you
Not in a park, or in a shoe/
Not wearing gray or wearing blue
General Mark, you’re soft as goo
I would not could not coup with you
Oh, and if Donnie’s statement reminded you of OJ Simpson’s book …
You’re not alone!
PS:
I’d be curious and grateful if you would indicate which classic punchline from Former Guy’s statement you prefer:
[1] If I Was Going to Do A Coup
Or …
[2] I’m Not Into Coups
5 Responses to “For Posterity: “If I Was Going To Do a Coup …””
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Your post does speak loud and clear.
As someone who didn’t learn about the subjunctive until I studied Latin, I have to admit there are myriads of people who do not know a subjunctive from a construction which, if accurate, would have come very close to a confession. – “If[, at that time, it was a fact that] I was planning a coup.” SMH.
Interesting that you bring up OJ’s book, of which the title is also a virtual confession (as “If I had done it” would not have been.)
So I’ll go with the confession – number one.
“I’m not into coups, but if I were I’d move on them like I moved on her” (E. Jean Carroll)
BTW, while we are comparing Dumpty to Hitler, let me offer my opinion that TOT is sicker than Hitler was. Despite having held a fairly low rank in the army, in WWI, he was able to run a massive military program, putting much of Europe in thrall for some time. As I understand it, it was HIS narcissism that caused him to overrule his generals, and insist that he “alone” had the genius to run the show. I believe that he had a greater grasp on the reality of his time, than TOT has of his. Hey, I’ve never heard that he had a ghost writer do “Mein Kampf,” for him, at the very least. And, as we know, TOT can’t even speak his native tongue.
Again, an excellent but rather depressing article, Nameless. Depressing because Parker Molloy is so spot-on with “It wasn’t just 1/6. It never was. And it wasn’t just Trump. It was the entire GOP. Why do you think so many were hesitant to say Biden won? Because they wanted to see if Trump’s coup attempt was successful.”
Trump was insane when he did win the election and far more so than Adolf Hitler (I agree with Mitch), and the GQP knew it but he was the key to everything they wanted and more so they backed him. But power corrupts weak minds further and the GQP stayed with him even when it was clear that his insanity and dementia had made him lose all sense of reality.
The only reason why the Former Guy is still a threat is that the GQP still backs him for its own gains. That is why I go for “If I Was Going to Do A Coup” because they did and they will.
Wow, great post and comments above. Maybe it was that Hitler & his underlings/ sycophants
had more of that German efficiency and discipline than FG’s? Hey, they might have studied the subjunctive!? They will def try it again here——you nailed that, Lona. I only leave the house @ 1x a week and have to see multiple stickers,signs and flags in support of FG and know there are tons of gunz. Goin’ w/#2 cuz just batshite bonkers lying, his MO! Take care,all.
Thanks Nameless…I go with #2 primarily because all his varied efforts failed and he says “he’s not into losers.”
And Joanne, I finally nailed several of the verb tenses with a wheel designed for Spanish I got for Middle School Spanish.