As Trump continues to unravel at breakneck speed, he’s starting to get comfortable with his true inner-self and transitioning into the real Nazi we all know he is …
The Soup Nazi, that is.
It’s going to be a Sisyphean task to try and rank all of Trump’s Idiotic Statements, but the one just a couple of days ago has got to at least rank in the Top 100:
“And you have people coming over with bags of soup — big bags of soup. And they lay it on the ground, and the anarchists take it and they start throwing it at our cops, at our police. And if it hits you, that’s worse than a brick because that’s got force. It’s the perfect size. It’s, like, made perfect. And when they get caught, they say, ‘No, this is just soup for my family. And the media says, ‘This is just soup.’”
If you don’t believe me that anyone could say something that stupid, here’s the official White House transcript:
(SIDEBAR: You know what happens after Trump eats a huge bowl of alphabet soup?
(He has a vowel movement.)
Once again, the Twitterverse stepped up and did what it does best – make a total mockery of Trump’s stupidity.
Truth be told, it shocked me to learn that Sec. of Commerce Wilbur Ross is an Anarchist …
But who knew those cute Campbell’s kids were Antifa?
But you don’t have to feel left out of the protests – you, too, can stock an arsenal of soups, just like the rest of the Antifa movement.
Why, here’s an example of budding Anarchist “souper” soldier:
My man Andy starting an early sleeper cell of souper-soldiers. #bagsofsoup pic.twitter.com/m87iiO41LA
— CanerdianGirl thanks you for wearing a mask (@CanerdianGirl) September 1, 2020
But when you’re coming home from the grocery store with your larder – please drive carefully!
Police pulled over local man for a minor traffic violation and were stunned to find #bagsofsoup and soup making materials in the trunk of his car. pic.twitter.com/B9g0Benoj9
— Mark Horstmeier (@solargroovy) September 2, 2020
And be aware: Now that Trump has spilled the beans (no pun intended), QAnon, Boogaloo Bois and other right-wingers have been alerted – and are spreading the word about our secret weapons:
And it's not just clear broths and noodle soups. Some of them are using creamy soups and even stews to commit their atrocities! https://t.co/VI0zJmB7u6
— joecello666 (@joecello666) September 2, 2020
A word to those on a budget when stocking up: The powers that be at Antifa are cutting back on our supply allowances:
ATTENTION ANTIFA EMPLOYEES:
Due to budget constraints, we ask that you please use only store brand canned soup. Any added costs from buying name brands, such as Progresso, Campbells, Wolfgang Puck or Amy’s Organic, will be deducted from your paycheck.
Thank you
— Butternut Squash 😷 (@justabutternut) September 1, 2020
(I have to admit that I, myself, stopped carrying mace a couple years back. I now pack a can of Progresso Cream of Mushroom. It delivers a doozy of a wallop!)
You know what the NRA always says: “The only way to stop a bad guy with a can of soup is a good guy with a can of soup.”
(Being a strong gun control proponent, I have to admit I stewed a long time about posting that one.)
If you’re worried about Trump setting Federal forces after us, be comforted knowing the Trumpkins haven’t seen anything yet!
Believe me – it’s a fantastic weapon! It will show them NO mercy … not even a ladle bit!
That reminds me back when restaurants were open (and I had hearing), a waitress taking my order asked me “Soup or salad?” I told her, “No, the regular salad will be just fine.”
I want to leave you with a couple of questions to mull over:
If you boil a couple of funny bones, does it then become a laughingstock?
(Oh, come on … You gotta agree that was humerus.)
Do you know what the difference between roast beef and pea soup is?
Anyone can roast beef.
Are you pointing to the Exit for me? Remember, I’ll be here all week. Try the fish, and be sure to tip your waitstaff.
