God 1 – Ryan 0

Posted by TomCat at 12:52 pm Politics, Religion

May 042018

Paul Lyin’ Ryan, currently Speaker of the House, soon to be unemployed, had an opportunity to finish what he started the other day. Instead, fortunately, he put his tail between his legs and, sniveling in Republican fear, backed down. That makes the score: God 1 – Ryan 0.

House Speaker Paul Ryan has accepted the un-resignation of House Chaplain Patrick Conroy, who issued the speaker a scathing letter withdrawing his previously tendered resignation.

Conroy says that he never spoke to Ryan about his resignation or termination but that his chief of staff Jonathan Burks requested that the chaplain step down. Asked why, Burks reportedly responded, "Maybe it’s time we had a chaplain that wasn’t a Catholic." Burks also reportedly mentioned a prayer Conroy led in November 2017 ahead of the tax reform vote.

The chaplain had prayed for "balanced" tax reform that helps ameliorate income inequality. The tax bill that Republicans eventually passed added more than an estimated $1 trillion to the deficit while delivering the largest gains to wealthy people and corporations…

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Here is the complete transcript of Conroy’s letter.

May 3, 2018

The Honorable Paul Ryan,

Speaker, House of Representatives

H-232 The Capitol

Washington, DC 20515

RE: Immediate retraction of resignation as Chaplain of the U.S. House of Representatives.

Dear Speaker Ryan:

As you know, by letter of April 15, 2018, I tendered my resignation of the position of Chaplain of the United States House of Representatives (hereinafter "House Chaplain") to you, effective May 24, 2018. At this time, and upon advice of counsel, I hereby retract and rescind said resignation for the reasons that follow.

I was elected as House Chaplain on May 25, 2011, and I have honorably served in that role since that time. I was re-elected House Chaplain in every succeeding Congress. I have never been disciplined, nor reprimanded, nor have I ever heard a complaint about my ministry during my time as House Chaplain. It is my desire to continue to serve as House Chaplain in this 115th United States Congress to the end of my current two-year term, and beyond,· unless my services are officially terminated (however that is properly done) or I am not re-elected to the position by the membership of the House.

While you never spoke with me in person, nor did you send me any correspondence, on Friday, April 13th, 2018, your Chief of Staff, Jonathan Burks, came to me and informed me that you were asking for my letter of resignation. I inquired as to whether or not it was "for cause," and Mr. Burks mentioned dismissively something like "maybe it’s time that we had a Chaplain that wasn’t a Catholic." He also mentioned my November prayer and an interview with the National Journal Daily.

At that point, I thought that I had little choice but to resign, as my assumption was that you had the absolute prerogative and authority to end my term as House Chaplain.

Recently, on April 27, you publicly indicated that my "pastoral services" to some Members were lacking and that I did not offer adequate "spiritual counseling" to others. This is not the reason that Mr. Burks gave me when asking for my "resignation." In fact, no such criticism has ever been leveled against me during my tenure as House Chaplain. At the very least, if it were, I could have attempted to correct such "faults." In retracting my resignation I wish to do just that.

I also write this letter because I do not wish to have my "resignation" be construed as a "constructive termination." You may wish to outright "fire" me, if you have the authority to do so, but should you wish to terminate my services, it will be without my offer of resignation, as you requested.

Since soon after I submitted my letter of April 15 I chose to remain silent about this matter despite numerous requests from the media. There has been much said in conjecture about my leaving the Chaplain’s Office, much of it damaging to the reputation of the House and the integrity of the Office of the Chaplain.

Had I known of any failure in providing my ministry to the House, I would have attempted to make the appropriate adjustments, but in no case would I have agreed to submit a letter of resignation without being given that opportunity. Therefore, I wish to serve the remainder of my term as House Chaplain, unless terminated "for cause." Please be guided accordingly and kindly provide confirmation of your recognition of this letter and my retraction of resignation no later than May 12, 2018. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Patrick J. Conroy, S.J.

Chaplain

CC: The Honorable Nancy Pelosi, Minority Leader

The Honorable Karen Haas, Clerk of the House Daniel G.P. Marchese, Esq.

Perhaps, if Ryan were a Christian, he would have the conviction to stand by his actions, but he’s not. He’s a Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christian, so he lacked the integrity to tell Conroy to his face that he had fired him for being too Christian.

RESIST THE REPUBLICAN REICH!!

Open Thread – 5/1/2018

Posted by TomCat at 1:46 pm Open Thread, Personal, Politics, Religion

May 012018

Happy May day from the CatBox. It’s been a very busy day here. I installed a new poll. I made the graphics and collected all the data I’ll need for tomorrow’s report. I prepared my grocery order and ordered groceries from store to door. I spent a half hour in chat with my HSP. Animae’s ISP is blocking my email replies to her. Animae, if you read this tell them I’m not a damn spammer. They are ignoring email from me asking to be taken off their abuse list. ARGH!

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 4:08 (average 5:01). To do it, click here. How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (MSNBC Channel): NY Times Publishes Robert Mueller’s Questions For President Donald Trump

I strongly suspect that Mueller already knows the answers to virtually all the questions. He has almost finished with everyone else and is now zeroing in on his main target. For the list of questions, click here. RESIST!!

From YouTube (Media Matters Channel): Michelle Malkin on politics and comedy, then and now

Barf Bag Alert!!

In the first segment, Malkin was reacting to displeasure on the left at GW Bush, the second worst Resident in history, pretending to look for Osama bin Laden under the furniture, treating his own failure, as if it was no big deal. In the second segment Malkin demonstrated Republican hypocrisy. RESIST!!

From Daily Kos: Many may not know this (most people don’t), but Patrick Conroy, the Chaplain of the House recently forced out by Representative and Ayn Rand devotee Paul Ryan for being insufficiently grateful for the Republican tax cuts, was a Catholic, and as such, unmarried and without children.

Some of the conservatives who now steer the Republican Party’s policies are going to make damned sure that never happens again:

Rep. Mark Walker (R-N.C.), one of the leaders of the committee searching for a replacement for the ousted House chaplain, said the next spiritual leader of the House should be someone with a family who can better relate to and counsel lawmakers with spouses and children.

Walker is Chairman of something called the “Republican Study Committee” and co-chair of something called the “Prayer Caucus” in the Republican-dominated House of Representatives.

A Rabbi can have a family, but I bet a dollar they wouldn’t accept a chaplain that says, "Oy gevalt", either. RESIST!!

From The New Yorker: The National Rifle Association’s decision to ban guns during Mike Pence’s speech at its annual meeting in Dallas this week “leaves him totally vulnerable to a bear attack,” the Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, warned on Monday.

Speaking to reporters at the Education Department, DeVos said that she was “deeply concerned” that the N.R.A. was underestimating the danger posed to Pence by “the savagery of one rogue bear.”

“All it would take is one angry bear to ruin what otherwise promises to be a really nice gun event,” she said.

Dang Andy! Does the best three word response to the Pence speech begin with, "Ready… Aim…" Winking smile RESIST!!

Cartoon:

The Republican elephant rides the rest of us. Other elephants are blameless.

Open Thread – 4/27/2018

Posted by TomCat at 12:21 pm Open Thread, Personal, Politics, Religion

Apr 272018

This is today’s only article. Late yesterday afternoon a drainage plug on my AC vibrated loose, and I got up for supper to find my floor flooded. It’s easy enough to fix, except that I cannot get access to it in my chair. I had to turn off the AC. I tried to get help from staff here, but they answered neither the desk phone or the cell phone for over an hour. So I called WWWendy. It took her around an hour to get here. In the interim, my superheated wall had radiated the inside temperature rose to over 100°. She mopped up the water and put the plug back in. She’s such a sweetheart that I had to fight her to accept $20 extra for her extra work. It took the AC until later last night before the room was comfortable again, so I’m just too wrung out for more that this article. I expect to be back in the saddle tomorrow.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 3:16 (average 4:28). To do it, click here. How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (MSNBC Channel): President Trump Stomps On Own Legal Strategy With Blurting Rant On Fox News

Even Faux Noise was trying to escape the implosion! RESIST!!

From Huffington Post: House Chaplain Patrick Conroy was suddenly forced out of his job last week by Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.), and while it’s not clear why, Democratic lawmakers and Hill sources say it was driven by Ryan’s distaste for one of Conroy’s prayers about the GOP’s tax bill.

As first reported by The Hill, Conroy was clear in his resignation announcement that it wasn’t his choice to go. It was Ryan’s.

Click through to read the prayer. It appears that the problem Lyin’ Ryan had with the Chaplain is that he is a Christian, not a Republican. The two are opposites. RESIST!!

From NY Times: Thousands of teachers in Arizona and Colorado walked out of their classrooms on Thursday to demand more funding for public schools, the latest surge of a teacher protest movement that has already swept through three states and is spreading quickly to others.

Hundreds of public schools were shut down in Arizona because of the walkouts, which turned the streets of Downtown Phoenix into seas of crimson as educators and their supporters marched to the State Capitol wearing red T-shirts and chanting “Red for Ed,” as the movement is known here.

Widespread teacher protests have in recent months upended daily routines in the conservative-leaning states West Virginia, Oklahoma and Kentucky. But the sight of public workers protesting en masse in the Arizona capital, one of the largest Republican strongholds in the country, and demanding tax increases for more school funding, spoke to the enduring strength of the movement and signaled shifts in political winds ahead of this year’s midterm elections.

Kudos to the teachers. RESIST!!

Cartoon:

Bad as he was, he would be better than what we have!

Open Thread – 3/21/2018

Posted by TomCat at 12:56 pm Open Thread, Personal, Politics, Religion

Mar 212018

It’s another busy day here at the CatBox. Store to Door delivered my groceries, and I have put them away. It was warm and not raining last night, so the homeless in the street below partied noisily until after 3:00 AM. WWWendy is coming this evening to de-stink the TomCat, so I really need a nap this afternoon.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 3:44 (average 5:21). To do it, click here. How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (RWW Channel): Lance Wallnau Says Students Protesting For Gun Control Are As Dangerous As The Hitler Youth

Barf Bag Alert!!

Like most Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christians, the opposite of authentic (Real) Christians, Wallnau wants Ammosexual Republican deplorables to grab an AR-15 and kill a Black, Latino, LGBT, Muslim or librul to earn the favor of Republican Supply-side Jesus. RESIST!!

From NPR: A man whom police had identified as their top suspect in a string of deadly bombings in the Austin, Texas, area this month killed himself early Wednesday by triggering an explosion in his car as officers approached the vehicle to make an arrest, police said Wednesday.

The dead suspect is Mark Anthony Conditt, a federal law enforcement source has confirmed to member station KUT.

There are only two things I know about this horrid bombing spree. The bomber was Caucasian. He won’t be making any more bombs. RESIST!!

From CNN: Rep. Dan Lipinski, a centrist [reactionary right], anti-abortion rights Democrat, survived a progressive primary challenge from Marie Newman on Tuesday for his Chicago-area House seat, CNN projects.

Lipinski was ahead of Newman 51% to 49% with 98% of precincts’ tallies reported, according to Edison Research. That puts his lead at about 2,124 votes.

His win comes despite an intense effort by pro-abortion rights and women’s groups — including Planned Parenthood, NARAL Pro-Choice America and EMILY’s List — to purge the party of the anti-abortion lawmaker in a reliably Democratic district.

Sad news. As much as I hate everything Lipinski stands for, I would hate it even more if Republicans hold their majority in the House because Lipinski loses. RESIST!!

Cartoon:

Open Thread – 9/23/2017

Posted by TomCat at 11:54 am Open Thread, Personal, Politics, Religion

Sep 232017

I’m rushing to get two articles written, before I have to leave for my appointment.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 3:42 (average 4:38). To do it, click here. How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (RWW Channel): RWW News: Jim Bakker Urges Rich People To Buy A Million Dollars Worth Of Survival Food Buckets

Barf Bag Alert!!

If those $millions are about to become worthless, than why is Jim Bakker scamming so hard to get that money? It’s because the most spiritual activity that Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christians perform, with the exception of lynching, is fleecing the sheeple. RESIST!!

From The New Yorker: Americans who feared that Barack Obama would come for their guns are happy that Donald Trump is coming for their health care, a new report finds.

In interviews conducted across the country, people expressed satisfaction that, by taking away their ability to see a doctor rather than their ability to shoot people, the federal government “finally has its priorities straight.”

“I couldn’t get a night’s sleep, worrying about Obama taking away my guns,” Carol Foyler, a gun owner from Kentucky, said. “Now that we have a President who’s just taking away my family’s health care, I can breathe easier.”

Harland Dorrinson, a gun fancier from Wyoming, concurred. “In Europe, everyone has health care and no one has guns,” he said. “You couldn’t pay me to live there.” Noting that thousands of people die in hospitals every year, he added, “Health care has killed more people than guns have.”

Wow, Andy. You have captured the mentality of deplorable Republican sheeple. RESIST!!

From NY Times: Tom Price, the secretary of health and human services, is a longtime proponent of slashing entitlements. He might consider starting with his own.

Since May, American taxpayers have spent upward of $300,000 to treat his apparent allergy to commercial air travel. Mr. Price has taken more than 24 flights on private jets to cities including Nashville and San Diego, according to Politico. When we last checked, those towns still had major international airports.

In one instance, Mr. Price chartered a jet to travel about 150 miles from Washington, D.C., to Philadelphia. It cost $25,000. An Amtrak ticket could have been had for less than $100. Or he could have used the two-and-a-half-hour drive to listen to an audiobook — perhaps a thoughtful examination of wealth and political power, like “Dark Money” by Jane Mayer or “Republic, Lost” by Lawrence Lessig.

Mr. Price is hardly the only Trump cabinet member to have racked up a big tab while the administration has supposedly been draining the swamp. Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin (estimated personal net worth: $300 million or more) requested a government plane to ferry him and his new wife, Louise Linton, on their European honeymoon this summer. The jet would have cost taxpayers $25,000. An hour.

Republicans promised to drain the swamp. But when alligators slither to the edge to promise swamp draining, only fools believe them. RESIST!!

Cartoon:

0923Cartoon

Open Thread – 9/10/2017

Posted by TomCat at 1:03 pm Open Thread, Personal, Politics, Religion

Sep 102017

It’s a slow day for news, because Irma [R-FL] dominates media coverage. All under her assault, even Republicans, remain in my thoughts and prayers. Wendy is due here in about forty minutes. It’s a holy day in the Church of the Ellipsoid Orb. My Broncos will not be worshiping until Monday Night, so today, may the Blessed Orb shine it’s holy light on your team.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 3:31 (average 5:07). To do it, click here. How did you do?

Short Takes:

From The New Yorker: In a finding that has wide-ranging implications for society, British researchers at the University of Leeds announced on Saturday that they have identified the gene for awfulness.

The study, which focussed on one adult male and three of his adult children, makes a persuasive argument that there is a “powerful dominant gene” that makes people heinous.

“When we began our research, we wanted to find an adult male with pronounced characteristics of horribleness,” Alistair Dorrinson, the scientist who led the study, said. “In studying three of his adult offspring, we found that they were all carriers of the gene that makes one smug, tone-deaf, and oblivious to the fate of others.”

Additionally, certain subtraits of awfulness, such as an inability to tell the truth, appear to be genetically mediated, Dorrinson said.

“If the father is unable to explain honestly why a meeting took place, for example, the son who carries the same gene will also tell crazy lies about that meeting,” he said.

But Andy, couldn’t you tell that Trump has defective genes just by looking at his face? RESIST!!

From NY Times: Almost from the moment Republican efforts to repeal the Affordable Care Act collapsed this summer and weary senators fled the capital, Senator Chuck Schumer began calculating how best to take advantage of the persistent Republican struggle to govern.

“Even when I was on vacation with my family in August, I started looking,” said Mr. Schumer, the New Yorker who leads Senate Democrats, as he recounted the buildup to the stunning debt limit deal that Democrats struck with President Trump this past week over the objections of gobsmacked Republicans.

In an interview with the New York Times podcast “The New Washington,” Mr. Schumer said he pursued an approach that would allow the Democrats to assert themselves as the minority party in coming showdowns over funding the government and increasing the debt limit, while denying Mr. Trump money for his border wall and seeking protection for the undocumented immigrants known as Dreamers.

“What’s our leverage?” Mr. Schumer said he kept asking himself. “We only had one thing as leverage at that point, which was the debt ceiling.”

From past experience, Mr. Schumer, like other congressional veterans, knew Republicans would have a difficult, if not impossible, task rounding up votes among themselves to increase the government’s borrowing authority because many conservatives simply won’t vote to do so, even at the expense of the nation’s fiscal stability.

I agree in principle with what Schumer did, but I think, since he had Trump by the short hairs, he should have extracted more concessions, such as permanent residence for Dreamers. RESIST!!

From John Pavlovitz: …I can barely figure out how my microwave works, let alone interpret how a horrific weather event is being wielded by God to teach you or me or gay couples a lesson—and I’d feel like a reckless fraud pretending I know what’s happening. I guess guys like Kirk Cameron and Joel Osteen and Pat Robertson know better, though I’m doubtful.

It’s ironic that Cameron refers to the book of Job. When Job loses everything and is stricken with grief, at first his friends show wisdom by simply sitting with him in his grief. Only later do they fall into the temptation of placing blame and playing God.

Maybe we who claim faith should refrain from pretending we understand how this world works when it comes to faith and pain and suffering.

Maybe we should admit the mystery, discomfort, and the tension that spirituality yields in painful, terrifying times.

Maybe when people are being terrorized by nature or by the inhumanity around them, instead of shouting sermons at them—we should shut up and simply try to be a loving, compassionate presence.

Maybe we should stop trying to make God into something as petty, hateful, judgmental, and cruel as we are.

If the God you’re following and preaching to people in their times of pain is an a-hole—it’s probably not God at all.

It’s probably just you.

Amen! God is not an asshole. Authentic Christians are not assholes. Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christians ARE assholes! RESIST!!

Cartoon:

0910Cartoon

Open Thread – 9/9/2017

Posted by TomCat at 12:44 pm Open Thread, Personal, Politics, Religion

Sep 092017

It’s a relatively lazy Saturday for a pooped Puddy. Thoughts and prayers for all in the path of Irma [R-FL].

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 4:19 (average 5:17). To do it, click here. How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (RWW Channel): Carl Gallups Says The ‘Deeply Demonic’ Deep State Is Working To Destroy Trump

Barf Bag Alert!!

The extent to which Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christians goose-step behind Trump is proof that they are NOT Christians. RESIST!!

From Daily Kos: An estimated 8,000 people are battling a series of 24 raging fires in Oregon, most notably Chetco Bar Fire, which has engulfed nearly 180,000 acres, and the Eagle Creek wildfire which is threatening the eastern edge of Portland. The Eagle Creek fire has burned 33,000 acres and while Oregon firefighters are starting to make some headway, containing about 5 percent of the fire through burnouts conducted on Wednesday, more resources are needed throughout the state. Oregon Public Broadcasting reports that Governor Kate Brown previously asked the Trump administration for help and they flatly refused any assistance:

But if there is wildfire management to second-guess, Oregon’s Democratic governor would direct it at the Trump Administration and its response to a request she made last month.

“I talked with the federal authorities two weeks ago, asking for additional federal assistance, I was told point-blank ‘no’,” said Brown.

The U.S. Forest Service has been helping, and Oregon is expecting the arrival of 200 active duty military from Joint Base Lewis-McCord in Washington.

But Gov. Brown argued federal officials should be directing more resources to Oregon, because of the disproportionate degree of fire danger in the state. Brown’s numbers and those from the National Interagency Fire Center tell a similar story: that Oregon accounts for nearly one-third of the scorched acres in the country. Of 1.5 million acres or more burning across the country about a half million acres are in Oregon.

I can personally attest to how severe it is. Coming back from the motel on Tuesday, the sky was brown, and the smoke in downtown Portland was like fog. I have been unable to keep my window open, because the air burns my eyes. It has also been setting off my COPD. I wonder if the Republican Reich is withholding aid, because Oregon Governor, Kate Brown, is openly bisexual. RESIST!!

From Think Progress:

Rush Limbaugh will be evacuating South Florida, just days after the popular conservative radio host claimed that Hurricane Irma would not hit the United States and that scientists and the liberal media were hyping up the hurricane as proof of their global warming “lie.”

“So there is a desire to advance this climate change agenda, and hurricanes are one of the fastest and best ways to do it. You can accomplish a lot just by creating fear and panic. You don’t need a hurricane to hit anywhere,” Limbaugh said on his show Tuesday. “All you need is to create the fear and panic accompanied by talk that climate change is causing hurricanes to become more frequent and bigger and more dangerous, and you create the panic, and it’s mission accomplished, agenda advanced.”

But on the show Thursday, Limbaugh said he would be off the air for the next few days.

“May as well… announce this. I’m not going to get into details because of the security nature of things, but it turns out that we will not be able to do the program here tomorrow,” Limbaugh said Thursday. “We’ll be on the air next week, folks, from parts unknown.”

Scheesch! How do you spell hypocrite? R-e-p-u-b-l-i-c-a-n. RESIST!!

Cartoon:

Their more popular alternative is sheets and hoods.

Open Thread – 9/6/2017

Posted by TomCat at 12:20 pm Open Thread, Personal, Politics, Religion

Sep 062017

Another day, more heat and more electrical issues! Today’s forecast high is 89°, and although that’s far better than yesterday’s record smashing 101°, it’s still much too hot to allow the building to cool. The temperature early this morning was in the high 60°, and I opened the window, but had to shut it, because the smoke from all the wildfires burned my eyes. Thank goodness Thursday through Saturday will be high 70°s, and Thursday, we might even have a thunder shower. Last night, the other side of my room lost power. The clerk reset the circuit breaker three times, and I ended up having to eat cold casserole for supper. This morning my toaster, coffee pot, and lamp went out. It turns out there is a short circuit in the GFCI electrical outlet, so maintenance is coming today. Speaking of the devil, maintenance came right then. A brand new GFCI was defective, so he had to replace it twice. That solves that problem. Then Store to Door delivered groceries. I put them away and had lunch. I’m feeling very tired. I slept last night, but need more. I also have Republicosis. ARGH!! Thank goodness Wendy is coming tonight. I stink. This month has been so hectic, between eye care, the heat, and electrical issues, I’ve decided to cancel the Monthly Report for August. I’ve just had to put ten pounds of shit in a one pound bag lately.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 4:28 (average 5:41). To do it, click here. How did you do?

Fantasy Football Reminder:

Our fantasy football league, Lefty Blog Friends, starts tomorrow night. Players, please don’t forget to have your starting lineups set by then. May the Holy Ellipsoid Orb bless your team. whenever it isn’t playing mine. Cat face

Short Takes:

From YouTube (GQ Channel): Trump’s DACA Decision is a Grim Turning Point | The Resistance with Keith Olbermann

Blacks and Latinos that support this Republican Reich are traitors against your own people. Caucasians and others that support this Republican Reich are just traitors against the human race. RESIST!!

From YouTube (RWW Channel): Mark Taylor: ‘Satan’s Frequency’ Is Changing DNA To Make People Hate Trump

Barf Bag Alert!!

If this idiotic, hate-filled Republican Supply-side pseudo-Christian were a little bird, we could throw a net over him, lock him in a clock, and let him pop out every hour on the hourto announce the time. RESIST!!

From The New Yorker: Barack Obama used the occasion of Donald Trump’s Inauguration to viciously taunt the incoming President by writing him a letter riddled with multisyllabic words, sources revealed on Sunday.

According to those familiar with the letter, Obama packed it with intentionally challenging words such as “reflections,” “adventure,” and “ladders,” in order to bewilder and infuriate Trump.

Sources said Trump attempted to read the first line of the letter but, realizing that he was the victim of Obama’s cruel prank, crumpled and discarded it in a rage.

Kellyanne Conway, the counselor to the President, said that the letter episode revealed a “very ugly side of Barack Obama.”

Dang, Andy! The poor widdle Piddle Puppet! RESIST!!

Also from The New Yorker: Eight hundred thousand people with dreams will be deported by one person with delusions, sources confirmed on Tuesday.

According to reports, U.S. residents who have obtained advanced degrees, served in the military, and saved people from Hurricane Harvey will be kicked out of the country by a man who believes that his microwave is spying on him.

“Under this new decision, if you have worked hard, gone to school, and contributed to the country, you face immediate deportation,” one legal expert said. “On the other hand, if you can prove that you have a glaring personality disorder and a flimsy grasp on reality, you can decide the fate of those other people.”

Amen, Andy. You’re back to straight news, I see. RESIST!!

Cartoon:

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