Sunday Smile: One If by Land, Two If by Sea and Three If by Air

In Twitler’s “Salute to America” his rambling speech gave the Twitterverse a wonderful Meme to work with.  And the Tweets did not disappoint.

Background Premise:

TRUMP:

“The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown. Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do. And at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory. And when dawn came, their star-spangled banner waved defiant.”

Besides the hilarious quote about the Continental Army (which was in service from 1775 to 1783) taking over the airports, the Continental Army would also have not been at Fort McHenry – which wasn’t built until 1798.

Well, the Tweets started flowing and have only recently started slowing down.  By far, my favorite:

 

In truth, our Founding Father, Gen. George Washington, was at first a bit leery about planes.  But the aggressive promotion of the commercial airlines’ reward programs pretty much forced his hand.

And it wasn’t long before all our Founding Fathers joined in with the flying.

Being the astute General that he was, Washington soon recognized the huge advantage that planes would provide.  He shortly thereafter began taking military flight lessons, and it wasn’t long before he and his sidekick were bantering back and forth: “I feel the need … the need for speed!”

Shortly thereafter, George earned his wings:

But taking over the airports wasn’t all fun and games.  Who can forget the tragic losses sustained at the Battle of the Baggage Claim Carousel?

The details of that battle tragedy was shared by one of those brave soldiers to his wife:

 

As we all know, this new mode of air travel did not always go smoothly.  It played particular havoc with many of our Founding Fathers efforts trying to get to Philadelphia to sign our Declaration of Independence – as depicted in John Trumball’s famous painting.

Dearest Louisa,
Our interminable delay at Gate 31 continues, and seating is inadequate; even the news is covering it now. Many approach the gate agent to enquire as to the arrival of our aircraft and to show their boarding passes. No answers yet. #RevolutionaryWarAirports pic.twitter.com/39B2oobDtk

— Qwertypam🍑 (@qwertypam) July 5, 2019

Through my dedicated research, I was able to locate the actual photo commemorating this solemn event which, because of major flight delays, actually took place in the American Airlines waiting area on Concourse D, Gate 31 at LaGuardia:

(There can be little doubt that Trumball’s rendition is much more pleasing to the eye.) 

Now, as back then, we all realize that the misery of missing a flight only leads to other travails:

Dearest Martha, please find enclosed a tracking number for my lost luggage at Philadelphia. It shall arrive to Mount Vernon via carriage in 21-25 days. Also enclosed is a receipt for the cost of parking my horse at Dulles for the weekend. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories

— Shawna 🇺🇸⚔️🇬🇧 (@shawna1776) July 5, 2019

Additionally, without a doubt, Trump’s YUGE revision of American history has forced others to revise their efforts.

People are saying that Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is busy working on updating his “Paul Revere’s Ride” poem.  [OK – Longfellow is long-since dead – I’m working on “Poetic License” here]  And oddly enough, Julian Assange hacked Longfellow’s quill and scroll, and released these teasers:

Listen, my children, and you shall hear

Of the Red Eye flight of Paul Revere …

[snip]

One if by land, two if by sea and three if by air

And Longfellow was not the only one needing to head back to the drafting board.  Thomas Plane Paine has now updated his famous plea:

“Give me a parachute or give me death”

And for all of us who have felt sorry for media Fact Checkers’ endless task, forced into long, arduous hours given Trumps never-ending lies – on this July 4^th Trump gave them a virtual day off with an easy-peasy gaffe:

Fact check: there were no airports in 1775. https://t.co/v8j0gPMswI

— The Guardian (@guardian) July 5, 2019

 ADDENDUM

 I was getting ready to segue from “Friday Fun” through “Saturday/Sunday Smile” to “Monday Mirth”.

But fortunately I was FINALLY able to complete all the calculations and paperwork WRT my County Real Estate Appeal.

Using their own figures, I was able to justify lowering my Assessment increase from 15% to 5%.  And I emailed it to them today – as the deadline is tomorrow.

Time will tell whether the Board agrees with me.  But at least I made the effort, and it really was a very interesting undertaking.

(And who among us wouldn’t mind saving 10% on a tax bill?)