Friday Fun: Fox news Fearmongering Fail Turns Out Funny

A Fox news (sic) contributor was savagely mocked for wearing a partial bulletproof vest while reporting at the border with Mexico.  (Although it’s not clear which of the three Mexican countries that Fox thinks exist, he was at.)

Apparently, Lawrence Jones was taking his haberdashery hints from Jared’s blazer and flak jacket ensemble he wore so well a few years back.

So who wore it better?  Here is Lawrence Jones all decked out, ready to rumble …

Coming up on @FoxNews live from the border. pic.twitter.com/aRlNQxrO1x

— Lawrence Jones III (@LawrenceBJones3) April 4, 2019

Well, except for the fact that it’s way too small – and didn’t have the protective steel plates inserted …

1. Next time you might want to buy the vest from the adults section.

2. That's a decorative prop, not a functional piece of protective gear. https://t.co/PjN8Wk0YQJ

— Benjamin Allbright (@AllbrightNFL) April 4, 2019

Those vests work better when the plates are in them.
Might weigh a few pounds but that’s what actually stops the bullets.

— Randy Bryce (@IronStache) April 4, 2019

Other reporters were quick to join in the mocking reminding him that it is NOT a war zone.

Dude. Why are you wearing a bulletproof vest. YOU ARE NOT IN A WAR ZONE. Here I am reporting from the border recently WITHOUT a bulletproof vest, but WITH a coat of fabulous hairspray! pic.twitter.com/ftmBzjTBVT

— Lisa Guerrero 💃🏽 (@4lisaguerrero) April 4, 2019

This is totally ridiculous.

I have never once worn a bulletproof vest at the border, nor has CBP ever asked me to — even while on a chase with Border Patrol to apprehend migrants in remote Arizona desert in the middle of the night.

Because. The. Border. Is. Not. A. War. Zone. https://t.co/Q1V95e7N5x

— Jacob Soboroff (@jacobsoboroff) April 4, 2019

Thin-skinned Jones got defensive about all the mocking and tried claiming the CBP agents demand that he wear the vest.  But here’s an earlier Tweet he posted of himself and CBP agents at the border – and NONE of them are wearing body armor.

Coming up on @foxnews @seanhannity live from the border. pic.twitter.com/9xEu2xFTlZ

— Lawrence Jones III (@LawrenceBJones3) April 4, 2019

Does Fox only require reporters to don a flak jacket when they’re on camera?  Nah – it’s all part of Twitler & Fox’s plan to stoke fear and hatred at every opportunity!  Gotta keep the MAGA cult riled up, dontcha know?

But it was too hard to pass up the chance to have some fun Photoshopping that vest – and Twitter Tweeters did:

No doubt this is how Fox wants you to view him:

SO TOUGH! pic.twitter.com/Da8EpqmXEp

— Micah Wright (@MicahWright) April 4, 2019

But this is how he actually appears …

pic.twitter.com/tm0dipTjgn

— Tʜɘ Wɒƨ ᙠunny 🐇 Kamala 2020 (@TheWasBunny) April 5, 2019

pic.twitter.com/Wr0cqll8AO

— / spek-ˈt(r)ä-fə-gəs / (@spectrophagus) April 4, 2019

No time for hatred on #NationalBurritoDay pic.twitter.com/Qm07CmG0QE

— Fuzz Martin (@FuzzMartin) April 4, 2019

But we have to admit that those vests can actually be quite useful …

pic.twitter.com/gFu01RDrr0

— Dylan (@dyllyp) April 4, 2019

Oh, and WRT Twitler making claims while visiting the “his new wall” that “he got built” – it isn’t and he didn’t.

This section replaced one built in the 1990’s with recycled metal scraps and landing mats.  And it was Pres. Obama who designated it for an upgrade back in 2009.

But Twitler did manage to expound about the fence with his customary eloquence:

“If you want to climb that, it’s pretty sharp up on top, too. If you want to climb that then you deserve whatever you can get, but it’s very, very hard. It’s meant anti-climb. It’s called anti-climb, so it’s a great wall and … I think it looks fantastic — very see-through, so you’re able to see the other side, which is a very important element.”

Kyrie, eleison. Lord, have mercy!