{"id":1608,"date":"2010-05-23T02:45:40","date_gmt":"2010-05-23T09:45:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/?p=1608"},"modified":"2010-05-23T02:45:40","modified_gmt":"2010-05-23T09:45:40","slug":"a-triple-dose-of-humor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/2010\/05\/23\/a-triple-dose-of-humor\/","title":{"rendered":"A Triple Dose of Humor"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a break from our serious political study, I thought I\u2019d give you three very funny pieces.<\/font><\/p>\n

First, here is a wonderful email I received from my friend Sandi.<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\"protectmejesus\"<\/a> In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.  The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.  It’s funny, as well as informative:  <\/p>\n

Dear Dr. Laura:  <\/p>\n

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law.  I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can.  When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.  <\/p>\n

  I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.  <\/p>\n

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.  A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify?  Why can’t I own Canadians?  <\/p>\n

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.  In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?  <\/p>\n

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24.  The problem is how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but most women take offense.  <\/p>\n

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9.  The problem is my neighbors.  They claim the odor is not pleasing to them.  Should I smite them? <\/p>\n

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.  Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?  <\/p>\n

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.  I don’t agree.  Can you settle this?  Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?  <\/p>\n

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.  I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.  Does my vision have to be 20\/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?  <\/p>\n

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.  How should they die?  <\/p>\n

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?  <\/p>\n

10. My uncle has a farm.  He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton\/polyester blend).  He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.  Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.  Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)  <\/p>\n

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.  <\/p>\n

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.  <\/p>\n

Your adoring fan.  <\/p>\n

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D.<\/p>\n

Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education<\/p>\n

University of Virginia <\/p>\n

              (It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I\u2019d like to own a Canadian too.  Wouldn\u2019t you?<\/font><\/p>\n

The second is from Andy Borowitz.<\/font><\/p>\n

\n

\"gopVision\"<\/a> MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report<\/a>) – In a sign of his increasing prominence in the so-called Tea Party movement, a new poll shows Kentucky senatorial candidate Rand Paul topping former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin among voters who describe themselves as morons.<\/p>\n

In the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota\u2019s Opinion Research Institute, 42% preferred Paul, 36% preferred Palin, and the remaining 22% were unsure what the word \u201cprefer\u201d meant.<\/p>\n

According to Davis Logsdon, who supervised the poll for the University of Minnesota, Paul\u2019s surging popularity among morons is bad news for Palin, who previously had a lock on that important constituency.<\/p>\n

\u201cI never thought I\u2019d say this, but if Palin is going to stay competitive with Paul, she\u2019s going to have to start dumbing down her message.\u201d  More here.<\/a><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

He is a classic!  But in Minnesota, shouldn\u2019t that be a three way race including Michelle Bachmann?<\/font><\/p>\n

Finally, here are Bill Maher\u2019s New Rules from May 21.<\/font><\/p>\n

Warning: profanity<\/font><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/param><\/param><\/param><\/embed><\/object><\/font><\/p>\n

He outdid himself on this one.<\/font><\/p>\n

To see all the videos I\u2019ve uploaded to You Tube, click here<\/a>.<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a break from our serious political study, I thought I\u2019d give you three very funny pieces. First, here is a wonderful email I received from my friend Sandi. In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[141,5,47],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-plus","category-politics","category-religion","category-141-id","category-5-id","category-47-id","post-seq-1","post-parity-odd","meta-position-corners","fix"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1608","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1608"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1608\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.politicsplus.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}