Jan 212018
 

This is my only article today.  I have not slept well and am very tired.  It’s a high holy day in the Church of the Ellipsoid Orb with Conference Final meditations to watch.  I wonder if someone deflated Brady’s balls.  WWWendy is going to a temporary bartending job today, so she’s coming an hour early to destink the smelly TomCat and help with chores.  She will probably arrive before I finish this.  I hope you are having a great second day of the Republican shutdown.

WWWendy just left.  It feels so good to be clean again!!

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 3:37 (average 5:10).  To do it, click here.  How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (Parody Project Channel): Song for Donald – Parody of Song of Roland

 

AMEN!! RESIST!!

From YouTube (SNL Channel): Trump Doctor Press Conference Cold Open

 

That exam was almost as phony as the real one was. RESIST!!

From Bloomberg: President Donald Trump says on Twitter that if the shutdown stalemate continues, Republicans should consider the so-called “nuclear option” in the Senate, which would allow them to vote on a long-term budget with a simple majority and no more continuing resolutions. “The Dems just want illegal immigrants to pour into our nation unchecked,” Trump says to kick off a day seen as the final chance for a rapid end to the shutdown.

It wouldn’t surprise me if they did it. I am surprised they haven’t done it sooner. RESIST!!

From The New Yorker: Calling it “the least I can do for my country,” the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, said on Saturday morning that she would lie for free during the government shutdown.

“Now more than ever it’s important that the stream of falsehoods and distortions from this White House continues to flow in a steady and uninterrupted fashion,” Sanders said. “To achieve that, for the duration of the government shutdown I will be lying on a pro-bono basis.”

Sanders said that Donald Trump had asked that she keep a full accounting of the lies she told during the shutdown so that she could be reimbursed for them later, but she turned down that offer. “I’ve often said that I like to lie so much I would do it for free,” she said. “This is a chance to put my money where my mouth is.”

Dang Andy! For Upchuckabee-Sanders, lying for free is like a bear shitting in the woods for free. RESIST!!

Cartoon:

0121Cartoon

I bet most wish they had stayed in Canada!

Share
Jan 202018
 

It’s another stinky, muggy day, and I slept poorly.  I can’t wait for shower day tomorrow.  Welcome to the first day of the second year of Trump’s Russian Republican Reich and the first day of the Republican Shutdown.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 2:58 (average 4:44).  To do it, click here.  How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (MoveOn Channel): This is Trump’s Shutdown

 

Even then, Trump was lying. Last night, after the Senate vote failed, Schumer even offered Trump funding, as demanded, for the wall. Trump refused. RESIST!!

From The New Yorker: Donald J. Trump is “scared to death” that the 2020 Presidential election will be decided by Americans, an aide to Trump has confirmed.

The aide, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said that Trump is panicking over a doomsday scenario in which Americans, sidelined during the 2016 election, play a dominant role in influencing the 2020 contest.

“It sounds paranoid, but, as we speak, representatives of the United States are already plotting to remove him from office in 2020,” the aide said. “They are determined to replace him with someone who takes a move favorable view toward their country.”

The aide said that the Americans, frustrated by Trump’s open hostility to the United States since taking office, will “stop at nothing” to achieve their ultimate goal: installing an agent of the U.S. in the Oval Office.

Andy seems to have a window into Putin’s Pervert’s psyche. RESIST!!

From Politico: “The shutdown rests at the feet of the GOP and it appears a majority of Americans agree”

Michael Steele is a former chairperson of the Republican National Committee.

Despite the rhetorical effort to paste Democrats with “Schumer’s Shutdown” and to redefine what constitutes majority control of the senate (“60”? Really?), the fact remains that this shutdown rests at the feet of the GOP and it appears a majority of Americans agree. I don’t like it. It certainly could have been avoided, but the President wound up negotiating against himself by taking a potential agreement off the table, leaving Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to lament, “As soon as we figure out what he is for, then I would be convinced that we were not just spinning our wheels.” That put Republicans in the position to spin their wheels right into another government shutdown. Pitiful.

We need to call this disaster what it is: the Republican Shutdown! RESIST!!

Cartoon:

0120Cartoon

Share
Jan 132018
 

This is my only article today, because I got almost no sleep last night.  The low was over 50°, and the rain stopped, so the street people, who would normally be huddled under tarps and blankets to stay warm and dry came out to play.  They partied all night in the street below me, yelling and making sleep impossible.  Tomorrow may also be a one-article day, as Wendy needs to come an hour early.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 6:04 (average 6:36).  To do it, click here.  How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (MSNBC Channel): How The World Covered President Trump’s ‘Shithole Countries’ Slur

 

Trump has made the US an international pariah. RESIST!!

From Washington Post: An adult-film star was paid $130,000 by a lawyer for Donald Trump in the weeks before the 2016 election to not talk publicly about a sexual relationship with the then-Republican candidate, according to a report in the Wall Street Journal.

The lawyer, Michael Cohen, allegedly paid Stephanie Clifford [aka Stormy Daniels] to remain silent about an encounter at Lake Tahoe in 2006, a year after Trump married his third wife, Melania, according to the Journal. The Journal said the payment was made to a client-trust account at City National Bank in Los Angeles.

I understand the Stormy is offering the Republican Reich $260,000 to deny the story out of fear that it will make her the laughingstock of the porn industry. RESIST!!

From The New Yorker: Donald J. Trump demanded on Thursday that the poem at the base of the Statue of Liberty be revised immediately to exclude nations he considered “shithole countries.”

Speaking to reporters, Trump said that the poem as it currently stands “is basically an open invitation that says, like, if you come from a shithole country, welcome aboard.”

“I don’t know the entire poem, but it’s something like ‘Give us your tired, your poor, your yadda yadda yadda,’ ” he said. “We could keep all that but then put in, right at the end, in big letters, maybe, ‘except if you’re from a shithole country.’ ”

“I think if a boat from a shithole country came and saw that poem with those words at the end, they would turn around and go right back to wherever they came from,” he said.

Dang Andy! Would Republicans love that or what? RESIST!!

Cartoon:

0113Cartoon

Share
Jan 062018
 

It’s a muggy sticky day, so humid that I had to change my undershorts in the middle of the night, even though I didn’t feel hot.  I hate sweating and feeling chilly at the same time.  I hope you are enjoying your weekend.  May the Holy Ellipsoid Orb bless your team, id they are still alive.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 4:00 (average 5:35).  To do it, click here.  How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (Late Show Channel): Trump Adjusts To Life Without Sloppy Steve

 

Does Trump call Bannon Sloppy Steve, because Trump doesn’t get him until Putin is done? RESIST!!

From Politico: Responding to several days of speculation about his mental well being and fitness for office, President Donald Trump defended himself on Twitter on Saturday morning as "very smart" and "a stable genius" in the wake of allegations contained in an incendiary book about the Trump administration released this week.

“Now that Russian collusion, after one year of intense study, has proven to be a total hoax on the American public, the Democrats and their lapdogs, the Fake News Mainstream Media, are taking out the old Ronald Reagan playbook and screaming mental stability and intelligence…..” the president tweeted at 7:19 a.m., hours before he was scheduled to meet with congressional GOP leaders at Camp David.

Several minutes later, Trump added: “…Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star….. [emphasis added]

Nobody will ever accuse that moron of modesty! RESIST!!

From The New Yorker: Donald J. Trump, legendary among U.S. Presidents for his aversion to reading, demanded on Thursday that members of his White House circle act out Michael Wolff’s new book, “Fire and Fury,” in a command performance in the Oval Office.

According to those who witnessed the dramatic presentation, Jared Kushner played the role of Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump played the role of Ivanka Trump, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders played Steve Bannon.

Sources who sat through the private performance of “Fire and Fury” said that Sanders’s portrayal of Bannon was particularly impressive.

“Sarah’s a natural,” one source said. “At the end of the day, acting is just lying.”

But the performer who “stole the show,” according to one source, was Eric Trump, who was cast in the role of his father.

Dang, Andy!! I’m surprised he didn’t shoot them! RESIST!!

Cartoon:

0106Cartoon

Share
Jan 052018
 

I’m still under the weather, but am gradually improving.  This morning I spent some time collecting part of the data for December’s Monthly Report.  I haven’t forgotten it, but am running behind.  TGIF!!

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 2:48 (average 4:53).  To do it, click here.  I’d like three.  How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (Late Show Channel): Jeff Sessions Says Legal Weed… Illegal?

 

Colbert does a great KKK Beauregard imitation. I hope that twelve year old hammers the gnome. RESIST!!

From The New Yorker: Furious over a very public breakup with his former adviser Steve Bannon, Donald Trump on Wednesday angrily threw a copy of “Mein Kampf” that Bannon had inscribed to him in the trash.

The book, which Bannon had given to Trump as a token of his love and friendship during the 2016 campaign, had been among Trump’s most prized possessions, aides said.

“Trump loved that book, but now he feels that having Bannon’s name on it ruins it,” an aide said.

Another aide, however, cautioned not to make too much of the fact that Trump discarded the Bannon-signed Hitler book. “He’s still got plenty of other copies,” the aide said.

Andy, I think the Fuhrer wants all those "Heil Fuhrer!" chants directed to him. RESIST!!

From NY Times: Israel is offering a stark choice to tens of thousands of African migrants in the country: Agree to leave voluntarily by the end of March, with a plane ticket and a grant of $3,500, or face possible incarceration.

“Every country must guard its borders,” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said on Wednesday, announcing the plan. “The infiltrators have a clear choice — cooperate with us and leave voluntarily, respectably, humanely and legally, or we will have to use other tools at our disposal, which are also according to the law.”

Later, on Facebook, Mr. Netanyahu wrote [Nazi delinked], “The government approved a plan today that will give every infiltrator two options: a flight ticket out or jail.”

Butcher Bibi is setting an example for Republicans on relations with what Bibi calls the schvartzes. RESIST!!

Cartoon:

0105Cartoon

Share
Jan 042018
 

I’m slightly better, but still feeling ill, so I shall be brief.  I was tied up this morning scheduling future medical mayhem.  I had to change to Firefox for Care2, because Care2 locks up Chrome every time a requester pops up.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 3:19 (average 5:11).  To do it, click here.  How did you do?

Short Takes:

From YouTube (Late Show Channel): Don’t Let ‘Button Dysfunction’ Destroy Your World

 

We need a Russian hooker to distract Dickless Donnie from his Armageddon complex. RESIST!!

From YouTube: What to expect from the ‘bomb cyclone’ traveling up the East Coast

 

If you are in its path, bundle up, and please keep yourself safe. Survive first. Then RESIST!!

From The New Yorker: Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was caught crouching under Donald J. Trump’s Oval Office desk on Wednesday, in an attempt to disconnect Trump’s newly installed nuclear button.

The button, reportedly measuring a massive eight inches in diameter, has been a subject of considerable alarm for Trump’s national-security team since he had it installed on his desk, earlier in the week.

According to White House sources, Tillerson, Secretary of Defense Jim Mattis, and the national-security adviser H. R. McMaster drew straws late Tuesday night to determine who would carry out the high-stakes disconnection mission.

After Tillerson drew the shortest straw, he decided to enter the Oval Office surreptitously [sic]Wednesday morning while Trump took a bathroom break.

Dang, Andy! I don’t think he disconnected it before Pseudo-pious Pence busted him. ARGH!! RESIST!!

Cartoon:

0104Cartoon

Share