Aug 222015
 

Yesterday, at about 8:00 PM, I received a call from my volunteer group’s staff advisor.  Apparently someone noticed my distress on my last trip when the temperature was 100°+.  She told me that the prison volunteer board has decided to cancel my authorization to come into the prison, out of what they say is concern for my health.  What they mean is fear that they could be held liable should I suffer a heart attack or a stroke while there.  I’ll appeal it to the head of volunteer services, but since my guys have already been informed that I won’t be coming back, I’m pretty sure it’s a done deal.  I feel completely devastated, because so much of my reason for being is wrapped up in my work with my guys.  I’ve been up all night, too upset to sleep.  So I need to take a day or two off, while I try to wrap my head around this most unwelcome change. Hugs to you all.

Jig Zone Puzzle:

Today’s took me 5:20 (average 6:24).  To do it, click here.  How did you do?

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  44 Responses to “Personal Update–8/22/2015”

  1. How horrible!  I will pray for the healing and peace your spirit needs.

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      —————

      Thanks, Anthony and the team at Environmental Action"

  2. 6:59 (6:24)  Still looking for my mind.  Didn't find it in the trees.

    I echo JL, and Gene and Nancy W on Care2. 

    Would suing them for destroying your health by removing your life work help?  Or threatening to?  Because what they have done is far more dangerous to your health than any hypothetical heart attack or stroke.  (I wouldn't be surprised if there is at least one person at the prison who knows it, too.)  Do the prisoners have personal visitation lists there as they do here in Colorado?  Of course your group is pretty big and it's probably not feasible for you to get onto everyone's list individually, but even a few might help.  I am probably babbling but I am very distressed by this development.

  3. Sure, when it's 100 degrees, I can see  the prison being worried – but it's not always that hot and your work is important….a lawsuit THREAT might be enough.  Go over their heads, we'll all sign a petition, scream from the rooftops – this is part of who you are, TC, and now it's whatever it takes….

    • You are correct about the results that come with threatened lawsuits at times–especially if press coverage likely Arielle

      • However, that might not work for this program that is not required to be offered by the prison but rather is based on voluntary support–at least in part with a key former staff member serving on the Board of Tom's organization.  A lawsuit threat could instead result in program termination, which is even less what I think Tom would want.

  4. TomCat,

    Your health is important, the most important.  Perhaps going when the temperature was 100+, and you knew it would be a severe problem for you, was not best decision you could have made.  Take responsibility for your part in their decision.  The next step is to find a compromise that both of you can agree to, perhaps a temperature or time of year limitation to when you go.  There should be a workable solution somewhere.

    • I would echo my support to Jerry's approach.

      I'd begin by sincerely thanking them for their thoughtful and legitimate concerns for your health and well-being, and agreeing with them that you should avoid those times when the heat is excessive.  But they’d also have to agree that it’s not always going to be that hot, and suggest that you look for a compromise alternative schedule that makes them comfortable and keeps you involved.

      Point out that while their concerns for your health are legitimate and appreciated, those concerns should also extend to your mental well-being – and this opportunity to meaningful engage and mentor men from someone who can offer a unique perspective as you can, has been a lifesaver for you.

      The one fly in the ointment WRT the weather is I do recall your saying that the meetings were in some room above the kitchen, and it’s always hot – but I could be wrong.

      I would NOT even hint at a lawsuit because I think it’d be counterproductive.  And unless you have a written contract or an oral agreement of some kind, I doubt you’d have any standing to bring a lawsuit.

      Can you enlist the help of “Your Guys” in petitioning or verbally approaching the powers-that-be on your behalf in some manner?  And it goes without saying that if you need letters from us attesting to your commitment and dedication to the program, you’ve got us to fall back on.

      Hopefully that old aphorism “A door closes, a window opens” will hold true for you.  Best of luck – and please keep us posted.

      • Sage advice.

      • Meant to include one of the last alternatives to consider: If you'd be able to sign some kind of waiver releasing them from liability.

        (If anything untoward ever did happen, heaven forbid, and they were clearly negligent, the waiver would NOT hold up in court.)

      • This sounds like a logigical solution, hope something happens to let TC back in with his guys.

    • I'm sorry you are so distressed over the powers that be's decision. I do agree with Jerry, Lynn and jla. A lawsuit wouldd do no good. The best thing you could do is write to them in an attempt at a compromise with you agreeing to stay away when the temp is so high. You knoww it is not good for you health.

  5. 3:50  How about a nice stroll down a tree-lined lane?

    • 3:56 A nice leisurely stroll down the wooded path. Wait for me, Jerry!

    • 3:45  I used to have a poster much like this only it was a dirt path.  It was on the wall at the end of my bed and I could totally get lost in it!  I'll wait for all of you

  6. They're gonna let you back in when it cools down. Something will work out TC.

  7. What horrible news you had, TomCat. It is a very sudden and apparently definite decision, which makes me think that the prison has had some problems with inmates becoming unwell because of the extreme heat in the building, something the prison administration is responsible for and could be sued for. They may already have been. If that is the case reports on you showing heat distress may have caused them to take rash decisions and order the prison volunteer board to make sure things will not get more aggravated.

    Your authorization for prison canceled completely without deliberation, you being told without the chance to react or even say goodbye to your group: everything points to a precipitous action. Perhaps if you give everyone some time to cool down and get in touch with the board again to explain that you understand the motivation behind the decision, that going into the building to work with your group in such extreme temperatures was not the best idea, neither for your health nor that of your guys (in that room above the kitchen, wasn't it?), suggest that you won't come in again when temperatures are above 90 – or whatever temperature you see fit – and that, (since you do not have the health, of a 40-year old) you will never hold the prison liable if anything happened to you health wise, you may be able to compromise and find a solution that suits both you and your gus. You may have already signed some documents stating something along those lines when becoming a volunteer to refer to.

    But first of all, take some time to let it sink in, don't do anything rash yourself and make sure you keep on top of it, health wise too. You've been given a lot of good advise here and on Care2 and probably get a lot more, but you have to sort it out and find the best solution for yourself. Good luck and keep a cool head despite the heat wave.

    • Excellent advice Lona.  The other Board members of TC's organization might have some good input on hidden dynamics to consider, too.

    • Pretty sound advice, Lona.

      While I hate to invoke any "conspiracy theory" motif, one always has to consider if there are any other agendas going on.

      But I wholeheartedly agree to "take some time".  Like the old saying goes: "Act in haste, repent at leisure."

      (Geezzz … I'm starting to talk in "Sampler Pillow" lingo)

      • nope–just truisms

        "truism

        noun tru·ism \ˈtrü-ˌi-zəm\

        : a true statement that is very commonly heard : a common statement that is obviously true

        Full Definition of TRUISM

        :  an undoubted or self-evident truth; especially :  one too obvious for mention "

        http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/truism

        • Whoever invented the word "truism" may have been good with words but knew nothing about human nature.  There is no such thing as "too obvious to mention."  Humans are capable of forgetting absolutely everything obvious if we narrow our focus enough.  I agree with taking time, and we should also all remember, you know the people better than we do.  You are the one who can decide the strategy appropriate to the situation.

          I had excellent results with the threat of a lawsuit once, or perhaps I should say more of a threat of a threat of a lawsuit.  It was very gentle and I'm sure that contributed to its effectivemenss.  That isn't always possible.  But it's pretty clear whatever you decide you will have the support of everyone here.

          • So true Joanne and I give TC kudos for letting us all weigh in since collective wisdom can be better than only one person's insight and those less close to a situation may see things we might miss seeing.  I've observed threat of complaints or legal action getting desired results in the short term many a time-yet sometimes in the longer term resulting in retaliation or other undesired outcomes.

  8. I am so sorry, TC, I know how much this means to you.  I agree with Nameless, Lona, and Jerry, though.  Take your time and then use one of their approaches.  This heat cannot last forever.  When the temps cool down, and whatever is going on at the prison cools down, they may reconsider.  We all want the best for you, our Fearless Leader. 

  9. When I quickly read your comment this morning, I was piqued.  I was on my way out which was good as it gave me the time to think more clearly about the situation.

    Your volunteer work is your life's blood.  For the volunteer board to make a decision like this without at least hearing from you first is unconscionable.  But before you talk to them, perhaps ask your doctor what temperature and conditions are advisable given your health concerns.  Also, ask if she would be willing to put it in writing if required.  When you go in, go in prepared.

    The rest of my deliberations during the day are what Jerry, Nameless and Lona have outlined so eloquently.  No need to add any more to that advice.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.  You know you have our support.  If you want me, and I'm sure the others would do it also. to write a letter to the volunteers board, you have only to ask!

    Namaste

  10. jl a : thank you for links. signed. 

  11. Some good comments and advice mentioned in this situation here. Maybe make a list of the pros and cons of them and decide a course of action at a snail's pace might help. Here's to getting your "boys" back. Hugzzz…

  12. Thanks all.  It's interesting to see how the development of your comments followed the development of my own thinking on the matter, moving from devastation, to anger to protest, and calming down into a low key approach, as that is where I'm most likely to get results.  See today's Open Thread.

  13. Many hugs to you, Tom.

  14. Oh, man! TC, that is the most heartbreaking news I have heard of! All the work you have put in with your guys and to have it swept away without even a “by-your-leave”! Those guys are heartbroken, I’m SURE! They depend on you for your support!
    Sorry to bring it up again. But I am one of the ones that would have been helped by your presence!

  15. zThank you both.  See today's Open Thread.

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