A newly perceived possibility is striking fear into Teabaggers. They are realizing that, just maybe, the black man might win a second term and plunge America into Kenyan Muslim Nazi Communism. As a result, many are threatening to flee to Canada. Now let me make it clear that, as far as I’m concerned, Canada is welcome to every Bagger in the country, although I feat that Canadians may consider such an assault an act of war and retaliate. One thing is certain. Those Baggers are going to be shocked, as this article by Joshua Holland shows.
If there’s one thing that screams ‘patriotism’ and love of country, it’s fleeing the United States when a Democrat wins an election…
…The election could go either way, but Nate Silver gives Obama a 73 percent chance of winning right now. If he pulls it off, we think these folks are in for some surprises when they arrive in the land of oak leaves and maple syrup – here are a few things that may come as a shock to their conservative sensibilities.
1. Canadians Don’t Enjoy The Freedom to Work Their Asses Off and Be Poor
If there’s one thing we cherish down here, it’s liberty! And part of that liberty is the right, enshrined in our Constitution, to work ourselves like dogs and stay mired in poverty.
So, these good Real Americans are going to be shocked to find that (after December), the lowest minimum wage in Canada is $9.90. Jeez, our highest minimum is 9 bucks in Washington state, but for most of us it’s $7.25.
Even worse, there are crazy people up North trying to pass a living wage of $13. Gah – the socialism!
2. That Means Everyone’s Unemployed, Right?
We all know that raising the minimum wage brings about the econopocalypse — if not monsters from deep beneath the earth.
So, these folks may be in for quite a shock when they discover that Canada’s unemployment rate, when calculated the same way we do, is about 1.5 percentage points lower than ours.
3. Jean Poutine Isn’t the Prime Minister
One of those rascally Canucks had some fun at the expense of George W. Bush, asking him on the campaign trail if he appreciated getting the endorsement of Prime Minister Jean Poutine.
It may come as a shock that poutine is a concoction of French fries, cheese curds and gravy. The first 5 bites are the best thing you’ll ever put in your mouth, regardless of your culinary or sexual proclivities. Then, a moment later, it cools and congeals into a foul, gelatinous mush. Enjoy!… [emphasis added]
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Photo credit: Orange Juice Blog
I have shared three of Holland’s ten with you, and the other seven are well worth the read, so I recommend clicking through to the original. And remember the 11th Commandment!