Since Republicans frequently threaten to secede, if they don’t get their way, it came to me that there is really no reason to break up the country. Instead, why not give Republicans a planet of their very own? The more I pondered this, it became clear that Mars would be ideal for Republicans and here are ten reasons why.
10) The lighter gravity would make it easier to hold up Donald Trump's hair.
9) They could outlaw Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.
8) They could say global warming is good without lying.
7) Willard could bury his tax returns there.
6) Since Republicans lack curiosity, Curiosity is already there.
5) Methane, which Republicans have in abundance, is ideal for terraforming.
4) Since mars has no intelligent life, Republicans there would change nothing.
3) Republicans would have a whole new world to destroy.
2) Mars is already a red planet.
1) If they were on Mars, they would not be here.
© Politics Plus, 2012